June 2013
what if I pretend to be British for like the first 6 months at college only around my roommate and I wake her up every morning at like 6 am and say like “up up darling it’s time for your tea the birds are singing a spoon full of medicine makes the medicine go down” and then we get back from winter break and switch back to normal and pretend she made the whole thing up until she loses her mind that would be fun
relax Satan
you’d think at 32 years old ryan gosling would be ryan goose by now
I wish every female comedian did jokes about how guys who play video games all have small dicks and deserve to be falsely accused of rape so we can really put this “comedy should have no limits” theory to the test.
Just so we’re clear if I say “shut up” and you say “make me” I am instantly thinking about making out with you
also just so we’re clear if you say “shut up” and i say “make me” that is most definitely an invitation to make out with me
“what happened to real music”
“So, because some men have managed to sexualize stretchy yoga pants, that means stretchy yoga pants are now inappropriate/slutty/cause for “alarm.” Because the standards for what it’s okay for women to wear should be dictated by men’s libidos. Nearly every woman I have talked to about this — in the office, on Facebook, on Twitter — has echoed the sentiments of the women commenting on the GMP piece: we wear yoga pants because they are comfortable. Period. The suggestion that we A) wear them because we want sexual attention from men and B) that therefore they shouldn’t be worn in scenarios in which that attention would be “inappropriate” takes all the responsibility for controlling male lust off men and places it on women. And that is some bullshit.”
— The Soapbox: Women Wear Yoga Pants Because They Are Comfortable, Not Because They Apparently Give You A Boner
(via albinwonderland)
What they say: “do you have to use swear words? It’s just so unimaginative, it’s a sure sign that you’re less intelligent!”
What they actually mean: I’m a big fat baby wiener and I go to Big Fat Baby Wiener Sunday School but I don’t want to expose my ridiculous sensitivity to uh-oh words so I’m going to transparently pretend it’s not about that and just call you stupid.
“did you do anything today besides browse the internet in bed”
