what if I pretend to be British for like the first 6 months at college only around my roommate and I wake her up every morning at like 6 am and say like “up up darling it’s time for your tea the birds are singing a spoon full of medicine makes the medicine go down” and then we get back from winter break and switch back to normal and pretend she made the whole thing up until she loses her mind that would be fun
you’d think at 32 years old ryan gosling would be ryan goose by now
I wish every female comedian did jokes about how guys who play video games all have small dicks and deserve to be falsely accused of rape so we can really put this “comedy should have no limits” theory to the test.
What they say: “do you have to use swear words? It’s just so unimaginative, it’s a sure sign that you’re less intelligent!”
What they actually mean: I’m a big fat baby wiener and I go to Big Fat Baby Wiener Sunday School but I don’t want to expose my ridiculous sensitivity to uh-oh words so I’m going to transparently pretend it’s not about that and just call you stupid.
“did you do anything today besides browse the internet in bed”